Why O-Nobu Cries in Meian

Meian is the final, unfinished novel of Natsume Sōseki, one of Japan's greatest novelists. O-Nobu, one of the major characters in this novel, struggles in her marriage with her husband Tsuda. Throughout the book, O-Nobu cries three times in total. The first time occurs during a conversation with her uncle and aunt after dinner, coinciding with Madam Yoshikawa, a noble woman close to her husband, attempting to arrange a marriage for Tsugiko, her uncle's daughter. I believe that crying, an action that reveals the most vulnerable and tender parts of the human heart, holds particular significance for the female characters in this story, where everyone strives to conceal their true selves. In this post, I delve into the text to analyze the reasons and meaning of O-Nobu's first cry.

Let us begin with the description of the first time O-Nobu cries: "O-Nobu cast her eyes down, and her eyelids quivered. Unnoticed, tears had accumulated at the ends of her eyelashes" (chapter 68, 156). The direct cause of her crying is her uncle's "taunting her (chapter 68, 156)". However, O-Nobu does not cry because this taunting is especially unusual. In response to O-Nobu's crying, her aunt says: "Who cries about such a thing? It is so childish-and it is the same old joke" (chapter 68, 156). We can see that her uncle has teased her many times before, and his taunt this time is no different from past occasions. The true cause of her tears must lie in the context of the conversation and her inner emotional state.

Just before O-Nobu tears come, she is engaged in a conversation with her uncle and aunt about the arranged marriage meeting (お見合い) that Madam Yoshikawa organizes for Tsugiko, O-Nobu's cousin and her uncle's daughter. The conversation triggers O-Nobu to compare how her uncle treats her, who grew up in this family, with his treatment of Tsugiko, his biological daughter. O-Nobu and Tsugiko both get the same treatment, as her uncle and aunt never show any dissatisfaction with them. However, O-Nobu thinks she deserves it due to the efforts to obey her uncle’s instructions, while Tsugiko, who never made such an effort as her, does not deserve it. This feeling of unfairness might seem to be the cause of O-Nobu's tears, but it is not. The text reveals that this feeling of unfairness "chagrined [O-Nobu]; from time to time, it seized her like a convulsion. But in each case, before it had a chance to blaze up, it was extinguished by her uncle's liberality in all things and by the kindness of her aunt" (chapter 67, 154-155). The phrases "from time to time" and "in each case" indicate that this is not the first time O-Nobu has had the same feeling before. Then, the question shifts to why O-Nobu was able to suppress her emotions in the past but not this time? I believe that by examining the changes in O-Nobu's circumstances, we can understand the true reason for her tears.

O-Nobu's marriage to Tsuda leads to major changes in her. In the past, her uncle's teasing her about her ability to judge men was merely a harmless joke to O-Nobu, as she had confidence in this ability and dreamed of a bright future. However, after marrying Tsuda, she becomes aware of the gap between reality and her ideals. The text reveals, "She who had concluded there was no need of discriminating in any way between the reverie and reality… That reverie, no matter how far it went, was not to be realized" (chapter 70, 160). This reverie refers to the ideal marriage O-Nobu dreamed of. In reality, Tsuda fails to be the good husband she had anticipated, causing her to lose confidence in her ability to judge men. What was once praise and recognition in her uncle's jokes now feels like a bitter satire of her marriage, even though she knows her uncle does not mean this intentionally. On the one hand, she might feel aggrieved as her closest uncle seems to mock her; on the other hand, she realizes that if she had chosen a better husband, she would not bear all the stress due to the mistrust between Tsuda. Those mixed feelings lead to her crying.

O-Nobu’s first-time crying in the novel marks a turning point in her approach to marriage. After she cries, O-Nobu has some interactions with Tsugiko. She tells her younger cousin to “Just love someone! And make him love you” (chapter 72, 165), then she can get happiness. While ostensibly speaking to Tsugiko, O-Nobu is talking to herself. She cannot change the person she married to, but she can still create a happy marriage by winning her husband's love. O-Nobu has made up her mind here, and in the following morning she wakes up early and “felt the strength in her own arms” (chapter 80, 180), preparing to visit her husband in the hospital with the determination to make him love her.

O-Nobu's crying shapes her as a female character who struggles and seeks love in marriage, while revealing the complex dynamics of women's position in Meiji-era Japan - a time of transition between tradition and modernity. Although O-Nobu, as a modern woman, chooses the person whom she wants to marry rather than submit to an arranged marraige, her response to marital difficulties remains rooted in traditional values. When she discovers that her chosen husband differs from her expectations and might not be suitable for her, she does not consider divorce as a choice. Instead, she chooses to adapt herself to improve the current marriage - perhaps the only viable choice for a woman in the Meiji period.

Reference:
Light And Dark Translated by John Nathan.